Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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