if you like me you must not know who I am
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
