was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
is wine microwaveable?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
When are your genitals available?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
