Is it normal to miss your booty call?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
