Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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