handjob tips. give me some.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
