how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
