Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
