Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
