did you get engaged???
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
