I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Randomize
