The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
