Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
i've created a new STD.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
