dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
