I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
