Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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