thus making me awesome and them whores
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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