I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
