I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
