do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
