I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize