Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
