hotel room ftw
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
