Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize