i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
