after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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