About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
