matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
