Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize