She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
