he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
soo... how was my night?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
