sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
