At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
