Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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