I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
