Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
