I think my vagina is haunted
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
