Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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