rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
