So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
