i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
