The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
