you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
