Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
