Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
