if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize