I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
