Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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