She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
The air was thick with penises
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
