Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Please don't give away my fajitas
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize