i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
