ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
