god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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