You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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