Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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