that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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