i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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