WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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