Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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