she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
