Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
