I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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