I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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