I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
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