I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
