I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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